A Road to Redemtion
by LovelyLittleDeadGirl
Summary: Takes place after Zuko returns to the Fire Nation. He knows the Avatar is not dead, and he and Mai are not in love. He discovers himself when she confronts him about his shallow feelings. The banished prince decides to make everything right and follow his heart instead of his father's orders. Zutara loveliness.
1. Chapter 1

** So, this is my first fic in a while and I'm not quite sure how this is going to work out, but I hope you like it. I'm feeling in the writing mood and I really want to continue this story, so there will probably be more chapters released today. I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender, nor have I ever claimed to. All credit goes to the creators and this will be the disclaimer that stands for the rest of the story. Please be kind to me. **

That day in Ba Sing Se, in the catacombs, trapped with the disgraced prince, who was remorseful for his actions, was the day she first felt feelings for a boy. She felt pity, trust, and, above all, understanding. She understood why he did what he did. He was a kid, looking for his father's approval, she wasn't much younger than him, and she still wasn't always sure if some of the things she did were right. He had been brainwashed by his father and the people pulling the strings of the fire nation since he was born. She realized, then, that Zuko was not a bad person, like she, and the group, had always thought. He was not evil, he was not malicious, he was just a confused kid. She forgave him.

However he betrayed them all, siding with Azula in the end. Katara felt something inside her break, and she was terribly angry. After saving Aang, Katara felt a little empty. She should be happy. They had failed, but the world's last hope was still alive, even though everyone believed him to be dead. She realized the lack of morale in the people that that would cause, but they all agreed it was for the better. If Ozai thought Aang was dead, it would be all the easier to attack. He was powerful and, as much as everyone hated to admit it, they would need every advantage they could take.

Zuko, coming home to praise, being welcomed with open arms. His sister was proud of him, well, as proud as Azula gets. His father had restored his honor, though was still cold to him. He was Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation once again. He should have been bursting with joy, and he was, for a very short time, but something opened inside of him, a pit in his stomach that never seemed to fill, but he ignored it. Deciding to throw his energy into something, in order to avoid examining that feeling, knowing what he would find.

So he turned to Mai. One of Azula's friends. She was quiet and of noble lineage. He knew of her crush, Azula having teased her about it relentlessly. She was pretty, calm, a decent fighter and would earn the approval of his father. There was really no reason not to like her. So he threw his energy into her, telling her he shared her feelings. He tried to win her over, make her think his feelings weren't as shallow as they really were. He had the servants decorate a room lavishly, had them make some of the most expensive food he could think of, and invited her to spend the day with him. He thought it would impress her, win over her skepticism.

When she saw the room, rose petals and a fine velvet couch, servants everywhere, she paled. Mai was not a normal girl, she preferred black and simplicity. She saw the lavish lifestyle of her parents as wasteful and really wanted no part of it, but upon seeing that room, she knew Zuko didn't really like her. He didn't even know her well enough to know she hated the sight, she hated the color pink, she hated that the servants' eyes would be on them the entire time, she hated the expensive food laid out on a table to the side. She hated everything about that, but servants were watching, so she plastered a small smile on. It was fake as ever, she never smiled, but she had to try. She did not want the whispers through the palace to be of how she embarrassed the prince. She walked over and sat down beside him, looking very uncomfortable and keeping her distance.

"What's wrong?" Zuko asked. "Are you hungry?" then to the servants, "Bring over the tarts." It was not a demand, he was being kind enough to them, even though he didn't have to be. They appreciated it. Though he still made them uncomfortable they preferred him over Azula any day. They carried over the tray, laden with all manor of colorful deserts. Mai made a face, but quickly covered it with the same strained smile. She hated sweets.

"No, I'm not hungry, but thank you." The servant bowed and started to back away, but Zuko halted him, holding up his hand.

"Are you sure? There's..." and he began naming off different sweets that sounded disgusting to Mai. He wasn't trying to pressure her, he was only trying to be polite, make her happy. The only problem was that none of this made her happy. Her smile faltered into a half-grimace as the thought of all that sugar turned her stomach and made her face turn just a little green. Zuko didn't notice.

"No, really, I'm not hungry, I just ate before I came here." She nodded her head to reassure him, and the look of confusion and slight concern dissipated slightly, but he was still a little fearful. He could tell. Mai was starting to figure it out. She moved her head closer to him, embarrassed by the presence of so many people and careful to keep her body away from him, and her lips a safe distance, but where she could still whisper to him. "Do you mind dismissing everyone?" She cast her eyes around the room to indicate who "everyone" was.

"Sure..." Zuko said uncomfortably, still holding the fake smile in place, though it was faltering. He gave the order, even though he knew what was coming as soon as they closed the door.

The door closed with a soft "click". She turned her body to face him, still keeping distance between them on the couch. "Zuko," she started hesitantly. "Can I ask you a question?" She knew what the answer would be, and she was scared of it, but she knew she had to ask, had to hear him say it. He nodded. He felt uncomfortable. He, too, knew what was coming next.

"Do you really like me?" She blurted out. She had to rip the bandage off or she would never get it out. Zuko saw glittering blue eyes flash through his memory.

"Mai..." He had planned on lying to her, of keeping up the ruse, but he knew he could not. Pretending to love her was exhausting and she was a good person. She deserved the chance to be with someone who could love her back. He knew he would be disappointing his father, but he knew, at that moment, where his inner struggle was heading. He knew what he would have to do. After all the nights of sneaking around to see his uncle, of their talks, of his disappointment in him, he knew what he had to do. He wanted to look the other way, like he had been doing, but he could no longer.

"No." He finally said, after a pause. She deflated, all the tension leaving her body. She was sad and it showed in her eyes, but she also felt an inner relief. She had built Zuko up into this impossible person, and she knew the real him was not her image.

"You have someone else you love." It was not a question, though it was phrased as one. That gave him pause once more. Was that what he felt? Did he truly love the little water bender who had offered to heal his scar of shame? The girl who had forgiven him, shown him true strength? The girl he betrayed? The inner turmoil grew once more. He knew it was truth, but he wanted to reject it. He knew she would never feel the same.

"Go to her." Mai said simply. It hurt, but she knew that that was where he belonged. He belonged with the one he loved, not cooped in this palace, pretending to have feelings for her. Zuko's face was shocked. She was releasing him, hoping for his happiness. She was sad, but she still wanted him to follow his heart, even if it was away from her.

"Thank you." He bowed and left the room, resisting looking back at her. He didn't want to see the tears, so he left her in that room, to mourn the crush she had harbored since childhood and he went to his room.

He shed his robes, pulling more comfortable, travel clothes out of his drawer. He slipped them off and shed his top knot, letting his hair fall into his eyes once more. He pack a small bag, some clothes, some food, essentials for travel and, at the last minute, he grabbed his swords, strapping them to his back. He was ready.

He got into the prison, walked to his uncle's cell and knelt down before the bars. He was encased in the darkness as the moon shone down on the old man in the cage. "I'm sorry, uncle." He bent his head down to touch the floor. The ultimate form of respect. Then he raised his head and his eyes met with the silent, former-general. "I know my course, now, and I am sorry that I brought you down while trying to find it. I'm sorry that it took me this long." He sighed, fully hating himself. His uncle's eye-brows raised. He was shocked.

Then Iroh smiled. A genuine smile, his first one in a long time. Then he laughed from his belly, shocking the young prince and making him jump. "I'm glad, but what are you doing here? Go to her." With his nephew's shocked expression, Iroh chuckled once more. "I mean, 'them'" he said, ammending himself with a bemused smile. He knew he meant what he said the first time, but the boy, no, man before him seemed to recover from his shock, nodding and getting to his feet. Zuko bowed once more.

"Thank you," he said. "For everything." Then Zuko turned and walked away, feeling a weight lifted off him. He had a purpose, now. A truly honorable one. He thought of something the water bender had once said to him. _Your honor is not something that can be given to you. You must find it for yourself._


	2. Chapter 2

The gang had found themselves at the Western Air Temple, hiding from the assassin chasing them and trying to get rest give Aang a chance to train uninterrupted. Toph drilled him, still, the relentless teacher that she was, she knew he would be facing Ozai soon and she didn't want "Twinkle-toes" to get lazy. They were all on edge, jumpy and, even though they were supposed to be resting, all of them found it hard to sleep. They hid it behind false smiling, telling themselves everything would work out just fine, but Aang had yet to learn fire bending and he would need all the knowledge he could possibly get to defeat the crazy Fire Lord.

Late into the night, when everyone finally managed to get to sleep, Katara wanders the halls of the temple. Dark purple circles under her blue eyes that seemed to have lost much of their sparkle, sunken cheeks from days of having no appetite, and a head swimming with golden embers, lightening, and a broad-shouldered back being turned to her. The pit in her stomach was only growing with time.

The team could see something particularly wrong with the young water bender. She wasn't sleeping, she was barely eating, but most assumed she was only worried about the invasion, fearing the pain her little family could have inflicted upon them, and they were right, to an extent, but Toph could feel it. She felt the jump in pulse when the prince's name would slip through someone's lips, she saw the way they would have to shake her from her thoughts whenever they asked her a question. Toph had no experience with the emotion Katara was harboring, but she had felt it many people around her. She knew. She said nothing. They all had their internal battles and this one was Katara's alone.

They had been at the temple a few days before, during an attempt to get Aang to focus on the task at hand, Toph stopped mid sentence. "Someone's here." She said in a low, quiet voice. The tension grew even more and the group straightened themselves, all preparing to jump into battle.

A face slowly appeared around the corner. They all saw the scar. Shock settled in the tensed muscles all around.

"Hello..." The prince said nervously. He waved and smiled, trying to look non-threatening. The shock didn't last long. Sokka unsheathed his sword, Toph and Aang settled into a firm stance and Katara summoned water from the fountains, looking like a tiger posed to pounce. They held their breath, waiting for him to make a move. He slowly raised his hands in a show of surrender. Toph felt Katara's pulse going a different kind of crazy than the adrenaline-fueled thump of the others. Her face showed nothing.

"What are you doing here?" Sokka growled. The prince tensed even more. He knew this wouldn't be easy, but he was starting to wonder if he should have practiced in the woods a little longer.

"I came to help." He said sheepishly, starting to lose confidence in himself.

"Yea, right," the avatar ground out. Katara and Toph had been noticeably silent, until Toph read the vibrations. She came to his rescue.

"Guys, he's telling the truth. I can feel it. He really came to help." The boys turned around to stare at Toph, mouths agape, but Katara kept her eyes locked with the prince, face devoid of anything, but stance saying, "try anything and I will rip you limb from limb". Toph sighed. They still doubted her ability, though she had proven it so many times. "Let's just hear him out." she said tiredly, loosening her stance.

"No way!" Sokka yelled spastically. Zuko deflated. He started to lose hope. Katara's eyes left Zuko's, for the first time since he appeared, and she turned her eyes towards her brother, stance still held and body still facing the intruder.

"Sokka, we might as well see what he has to say." Her words were stiff and revealed nothing of her own opinion of his appearance. As the boys turned away from Toph to stare at Katara, the earth bender felt a small smirk cross her face.

"I'm not saying he couldn't still be lying, and I'm not saying we shouldn't be cautious, but if he really is here to help, we could use it." Sokka sighed. His baby sister was always the damn voice of reason, much to his dismay. That was all the agreement she needed to see.

"Zuko," she said, eyes going back to him but strategically avoiding his as she felt a blush rise up her neck. It had been a long time since she called his name. The fire bender blanched as well. "If you really are here to help, would you mind if confines you, just until we've heard what you have to say and then decided what to do?" It was phrased as a question, but was not one. This was the only way they would listen to him. If he didn't agree to it, they would turn him away, possibly even beating him into the ground before throwing him out of their camp.

"Sure..." he said shrugging. He didn't like the idea one bit. He was claustriphobic and the idea of being at the mercy of three powerful benders and one easily aggravated warrior with a sword, did not seen appealing, but it was the only way, and the sacrifice had to be made.

Toph quickly bended earth to encase his body, rendering him immobile. She trusted him, but she enjoyed the chance to make the prince feel uncomfortable, always the lover of mischief. "Speak." Sokka was straight to the point, fighting the urge to argue with Katara's sound reason.

"Uh... where do I start...?" The prince trailed off. He was nervous and lost all things he had practiced.

"Why not tell us why you came here first." Toph suggested kindly. She smiled at him, she could feel his nerves and, for once, she was being nice. Katara was too busy in her head, so Toph had to channel her kindness.

"Well... Uh... I came to join you." Upon seeing their battle stances falter slightly, he rushed on. "I realized what I did in Ba Sing Se was wrong," Katara flinched slightly. "And that the war needs to stop. I want to help take down my father and free the people that have been suffering long enough. So I ran away from the palace and followed you here. I figured Aang would need a fire bending teacher, so I could help there." He barely took a breath through the entire explanation and his face was an amusing shade of red from embarrassment. Toph would have laughed quite hardily if she could see it.

Sokka's eyes narrowed. He still didn't trust him, but Aang did need a fire bending teacher and Zuko was quite the skilled bender. It would be beneficial if he was telling the truth.

"Why?" Everyone jumped at Katara's voice. All eyes were on her, she had loosened her stance, to make herself more comfortable, but the water still floated around her in a menacing manner.

"Why... what?" Zuko asked slowly, not fully understanding what she was asking. He felt scared to ask, but it seemed as though none of the others would and he wanted to give her a satisfying answer.

"Why now?" she clarified. Voice trembling slightly, but it went unnoticed to most. Only Zuko and Toph picked it up.

"Well..." he had to figure out how to phrase this so she would trust him. "Someone once told me, 'Your honor isn't something that can be given to you. You must find it for yourself.' I realized she was right." His eyes pleaded for her to trust him, to soften her eyes and accept him, as she once had. He felt the desperation growing inside of him. He saw the sides of her eyes crinkle in sadness and a little bit of pain.

"Who told you that?" Aang asked, honestly curious. Zuko didn't answer, he could break his gaze with Katara. Everyone's eyes went back and forth between them. It seemed as though they were talking without words.

_Why did you turn your back on us? I thought we could trust you, I thought _I_ could trust you. I forgave you. Why? Why come back only now? _Katara's eyes said it all. _I'm sorry. I'm so incredibly sorry. I have no excuse and I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but trust me to make things right. I want to become the man you saw in those catacombs. Give me a chance. _Zuko pleaded inwardly.

"Ahem!" Sokka cleared his throat loudly, catching both benders' attention. "I think we still shouldn't trust him, but he is an invaluable asset... If he isn't lying." His eyes swiveled to Zuko in a glare.

"I need to learn fire bending. It's a simple fact, and this is safer and less time consuming than trying to find someone else to teach me." Aang said. He shrugged his shoulders.

Toph's unseeing eyes faced Katara's form as she answered, an almost challenging look on her face. "I think twinkle-toes is right. It would be far too dangerous to look for another teacher and we really don't have the time. Plus, I'm telling you, he isn't lying and, if he is, which he isn't, I will personally take him out." She said with finality. Toph had vouched for him. That changed the attitude of the group.

Katara was the only one who had yet to answer. All eyes were on her once again. She made the final decision and they all knew it. She could sway both Sokka and Aang to a different opinion with one word and they all knew it. No matter how much Toph trusted him, Katara had the final say. Her eyes left her friends and went back to the prince in-cased in rock. Her face showed everything, the order she was thinking it. Hurt, skepticism, conflict, and, finally, acceptance. "Let him stay." Zuko sighed in relief. "But," his tension was back with vengeance. "Until everyone has firmly decided that he can be trusted, we should take shifts sleeping and not let him out of our sight." Toph coughed. "Or feel," Katara added guiltily. Toph immediately bended the rock away.

"So, what now?" Zuko asked, unsure of himself.


	3. Chapter 3

"So what now?" Zuko addressed the group. Before anyone could answer, his stomach growled unceremoniously. He had been too nervous to eat earlier that day and now that most of the stress was relieved, thanks to Katara granting him a trial period, he suddenly found himself ravenously hungry. Toph raised an eye-brow and Sokka couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth. Aang giggled as well.

"Looks like we should get Sparky some food." Toph said mockingly. Zuko was officially christened with a nickname, like the rest of them, and, much to his dismay, it seemed as though the name was going to stick.

"Come on, _Sparky_," Sokka laughed, walking towards the fire pit. He knew everyone would follow. The pit was already lit, so Katara rummaged through the supplies the group had found on the Fire Navy ship. She pulled out supplies for some kind of stew, it would be easier to feed the extra mouth with something that could be made in large amounts. She didn't really pay attention to what went in, but Sokka didn't complain when he tasted it, growing impatient waiting for it to cook. She sat beside the fire, knees curled up to her, using a large stick to stir the coals so Sokka wouldn't start complaining.

Zuko stared at the young water bender. Something was eating at her. He sat a little off from the group, still sensing that it was not entirely okay for him to join them. His brow furrowed as he could only guess what was going on in her head.

"Don't worry, Sparky, she's always like that nowadays," came a soft voice. He jumped at the sudden noise. He stared up at the small girl standing beside him. She plopped down on the ground next to him, sighing loudly. "Sugar Queen's been that way since Ba Sing Se. She'll tell you nothing's wrong, but I don't buy it. She doesn't sleep much, either. I always feel her roaming the temple at all times of the night." She sighed again. She didn't want to admit it, but Toph was worried about Katara. She missed their usual banter and Katara's motherly, albeit annoying, caring.

"How did you...?" Zuko trailed off, knowing the girl couldn't see a damn thing. Toph chuckled.

"I may not be able to _see _everything," she wiggled her toes for emphasis. "But I'm not stupid. I know there's something between you and queeny, over there." Zuko blushed bright red. Toph burst out laughing, startling the others and moving their stares over to the new, resident fire bender, all stares accept Katara's, who's seemed trained on the embers. "You know, I can't see it, but I can tell by your pulse that you must be a crazy shade of red right now!" Zuko's blushed even more with all eyes on him. He looked down, trying to hide his face.

"It's ready." Zuko was glad for Katara's misdirection. Though she had not been paying attention, she still took all the attention off of him and he was grateful. Everyone slowly congregated towards the cooking pot, even the prince, at the persistence of his stomach. Katara ladled stew into bowls for all of them, not even giving a second thought to handing one to a very awkward Zuko. She didn't get one for herself, though. She backed away from the fire, over to a fountain, to lay on her back and absently bend a small amount of water into funny shapes above her head. Everyone looked over in sadness. Worry was obvious all the way around.

"She doesn't sleep, she barely eats, what the hell is wrong with my little sister..." Sokka mumbled. Katara's ears pricked and she jerked up to her feet, water falling to puddle at her feet, startling everyone. She came towards the group, making eye contact with Sokka the entire time she ladled stew into a bowl for her. She ate, but tasted nothing. She knew Sokka was worried and it was her responsibility to keep everyone happy and focused. She was doing a piss-poor job at it as it was.

"So..." Sokka said, trying to break the awkward silence. "Who takes first Zuko-watch?" There were tired bodies and dark circles all around and Katara felt guilty. She knew she made them worry so the least she could do was let them get some sleep. She hardly slept anyway so it was a good fit.

"I'll take it." Katara said, surprising them all. It was a night full of shocks.

"Alright, Sugar Queen," Toph said, yawning loudly, laying her bowl down to start the pile of dirty dishes. "Keep a close eye on Sparky. I'm hitting the hay." She scooted back from the group until she was in the dark and bent a small tent around her body. They knew that meant no one was to disturb her.

Sokka was apprehensive, he didn't want to leave his little sister alone with this guy who could potentially be dangerous, but he really was tired. He said his goodnights, and walked away slowly, still staring back at the prince until he went in the entrance of the temple with his sleeping bag, looking for an empty room that wasn't too dusty.

Aang stayed up with them for a little while, but his energy was failing, especially since neither of the remaining benders seemed very interested in holding a conversation with him, though, to Zuko's credit, he did try, he was just really bad at talking to people. Aang, too drifted inside, sparing no glance back. He knew Katara could hold her own.

Katara stood abruptly and looked down on him. "Would you like to have a sparring match?" she asked. He was too shocked to answer. "I haven't really had someone to fight in a while and I'm not going to sleep anytime soon, I doubt very much that you are either. I would like to get a close look at how much Aang's new teacher has advanced." She was talking to him. It was a start.

He got a hold of himself. "Sure, sounds fun," he said, offering a small smile. She didn't return it, but she didn't glare or give him a dead look, simply nodded and motioned for him to follow her up to the top of the cliff.

When they finally climbed up, Zuko panted a little bit. "Why did we come all the way up here?" he asked. It seemed like a lot of work. The courtyard was big and they could easily find a place far away enough from Toph that she wouldn't get caught in the cross-hairs.

"I don't want to wake them up," She cast a glance down at her shoes. "They deserve a good rest. I've been making them worry too much, lately." She was quiet, but her tone reeked of guilt.

"Want to talk about it?" He offered, shrugging. He didn't know what else to do.

"No," the water bender said. "I'd rather just work off some frustration, besides," There was a gleam in her eyes and an almost unnoticeable smile twitched her lips. "I don't entirely trust you." She flicked her wrist and water Zuko hadn't even noticed pulled his ankle back behind him and he fell on his face.

"That was dirty!" he yelled out, rubbing his nose as he got back to his feet. She glanced up at the moon, it was full and bright.

"You should have learned already, nothing about this war is fair. We don't fight in arenas or for sport, we fight to survive. Dirty tricks, it doesn't matter. Try to knock them out quickly, you're not only protecting yourself, anymore. You now have a group that's going to count on you to get their back, myself included." She turned her eyes to him. It seemed as thought the crystalline orbs were made of stone. He swallowed, hard.

"I was taught that way. Dirty tricks were a sign of weakness, and my father had a thing against weakness." he said, raising his hand so his fingers grazed his scars. He sighed. He knew what she said was right, it wouldn't be just him anymore. If he was truly going to join the group, he needed to learn how to protect himself while also protecting another.

She walked over to the tree line, picking out a rather large log, it was only slightly shorter than Toph. She drug it over until it was several feet behind Zuko, then she dug it into the ground, making sure it was secure. He stared at her like she had three heads.

She looked up from the log, blowing the fallen hair out of her eyes. "There!" she said. "You're not used to this, so you should practice. I'll come after you and you just need to fight me off and keep this log standing. It's not very stable, so it will fall easily. Be careful." There was a wicked gleam in her eyes. This game would be fun.


End file.
